Hosting Orphans~The Day After and Two Empty Beds

Two empty beds. That is the physical evidence left here of our month with Denis and Lena. They showed up here a little over a month ago with nothing and they left very little behind. I hope they took a whole lot more than 50 pounds of of clothing and gifts stuffed in rolling duffles and heavy backpacks with them. Although the beds are empty here I know the hearts are full!! Lots of hearts! Old hearts, young hearts, baby hearts. Maybe even a few changed hearts. On both side of the ocean. Isn't that what it's really all about? The hearts.

I woke up this morning and sent some prayers and positive thoughts out for them knowing they were touching down in Ukr@ine. I was doing well until I went to wake up Levi and Bella, to try and get a routine going before school start tomorrow. And there they were. Two empty beds. I could barely make it back to my room before I lost it! I knew this was going to be difficult. Be I did not expect to feel this grief for them. I hope they know how much they are loved! I do not want them to feel overwhelmingly sad. But I do want them to feel what they need to feel in order to make the right choices here. 

Do they miss those beds? I hope so. I realize it may take a while, but we do not have a lot of time to play with! The dynamics of their situation, and all kids raised in orphanages, are difficult to understand. Even though they live in a kind of bondage, they have a kind of freedom we don't understand also. They self parent and are very close to their piers in the orphanage. They are siblings.  So even though it is not a "home", it is all they know. And for the older ones the decision to leave there permanently is a HUGE one. It is equivalent to walking away from family. We have spoken with people who have been adopted and they said they struggled with guilt for leaving the other kids behind. And seeing what a caregivers they are, especially Denis, I can't imagine how difficult it is to give us an answer on being adopted. But if we do not here form him soon the answer will automatically be no because we will run out of time before he turns 18. I pray he gets a clear revelation of their future really soon! The thought of him becoming homeless in September, even for 1 night before making this decision is to much for me to think about!

I hope this new day as they sat foot back on their home soil will bring clarity and answers for them both. May everything look different to them now now that they have something to compare it to. May they understand how loved they are. May they feel the warm thoughts and prayers being sent (please send!). May everything they see remind them of us. May they fell our love. May the memories flood their mind every time they look at their photo books or catch a familiar smell. May their dreams be filled with their time here. 

May they miss the two empty beds.