In two weeks and two day we put them on a plain and send them back. How? After just a short time with them I see their resilience, their strength. But where is mine!? What will I do? How can I find balance now. Is there balance? Will I ever go a day, a minute without thinking, praying, wondering how they are, where they are? I hope not. I do not want to return to "normal". I cannot. I can no longer bury my head in my own little world and believe that it encompasses THE world, or THE world encompasses it. I will not. I will make a conscience effort not to. I will keep myself aware of the hurt and need of other. I will give. I will ask. I will seek. I will bug other to do so too. But I will find balance.
The first few days of hosting was very emotionally raw. The reality hit home of lives unlike ours. Orphans were given faces. Then we settled in and fell in love. Then grief came and we prayed for joy. To be able to live in the moment. Joy came. Much joy! Denis can be quite the clown. Lina is opening up day by day. He enjoy his new English sentence "Lena eats boogers". We all do to, except Lena. Then during our English lesson on Thursday Lena comes out with "Denis is stoopid"(no idea where she learned it!). But accent included, I swear she sounded like she was from Jersey! Again laughter!!
There will be laughter. But I know it is worthless with out recognizing and validating the tears. Just as wealth is useless without recognition and relief of poverty. One is meant to relieve the other. Not to ignore it. We much reach a balance of using the positive to relive the negative in our lives, not to ignore it. Ignorance relives nothing.
Ignorant no more.
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